For my project i decided to interview two people who i previously felt a little hesitant to interview on there perspectives on death when we were assigned to interview those around us. My mother being one of them, this is because with touchy topics or subjects we don't always see eye to eye, at least some of the time. but mostly because till this day me and my family mourn over the death of my beloved Grandmother. Second interviewee was my boss, who i didnt want to interview because of the fact he was my bos/owner of my job. before i held these interviews i gave them a quick overview of the sort of things we are covering in our care of the dead unit and what was the purpose of these interviews.
Interviewee #1: Mother
How should someone be cared for after their dead?
Its hard for me to say. i remember worrying so much about how someone should be where there dead. now that we as a family have dealt with the death of wela(grandmother), i know now its better to think before you plan. what you want, who and where. people shouldnt worry and think that having a big fancy funeral is the best thing because it is not. I realize that now.
Did caring for my dead family members make you think differently?
yes it really did. Caring for my mother was one of the hardest things i have ever done. luckly with the hlep of your big brother, we made the best decisions that were possible. when my father died he was cremated but his funeral process was more quick. during that time were dealing with a lot, wrong timing i can say. because of low fund i wasnt able to provide him with that much to remember him. i regret somethings i did but the love have for him is more than what i could've provided. For my mother i wanted to do things differently and more precise but i also wanted to fix previous efforts with my father. me and you brother cremated Wela(grandmother) and had her placed next to her husband in place next to the big funeral of saintMerrys. where those who are cremated are inside in a sanctuary. at peace
I love you mom(i added)...
What happen with the funeral service?
the typical things. Making arrangements for the funeral and open casket. what should she wear, look like, be buried with and how everything will look. also the guest list(interruptted her)
Before you go on, why did it feel like the guest list was so big?
i invited friends and family. A lot of people from my workplace came and supported me and it felt very good. but what i was disappointed at was the fact that certain family's did not attend, which they should be ashamed about.
I added: i think many of the funeral arrangements or how it went about was stupid. not to be rude. i saw people who i barely see and people who my grandmother never even saw but maybe heard about. these people werent important to be at my grandmothers funeral. it was nice to see them supporting you, but that wasnt the time. i treasured the fact i got to speak to my grandmother even if she was embalmed(didnt go in dept even though i wanted to). i rather the close knitted family that we have to stay with her and send her off.
Funerals made us think that having these arrangements, extra lighting, bunch of chairs, cloths and all were perfect for my grandmother or someone who is dead. but it wasnt. they manipulate us mom, with money and death on our minds we arent really thinking right.
I only recorded the first half of our interview because we really had a strong and emotional conversation. when i told her what i thought about the funeral service a lot of things stuck out to her and she started to learn what i initially learned.she said the fact that money has always been a issue, the industry and peoples exploitation seems pretty obvious. i was able to give praise to what shes done to her parents when caring for them and told her she did a phenomenal job.
Interviewee #2: Boss
how do you want to be cared for when your dead?
i want to be buried. everyone in my family has a reserved spot next to each other in a funeral home. we usually have a wake and open casket and than the body gets buried. its pretty nice to know that your next to those you love when your dead. dieing isnt a big deal, your simply dieing. cremated your being burned, so i rather be buried.
Why is everything a tradition?
To many is the best waty is tradition. exspecially with something like death, religion is pretty important. everything associated with the funeral and how you care for the dead is circled around that familys religion preference. people do everything they think is neccessary toget into heaven and we as family members to make sure they get thier.
Manager intruded: if we were able to do something different than go to funeral home than we would do so. but its hard to appropriatley do something. Just as giving natural taste and food to people is healthy it isnt talked about as much as fast food(talked of alternatives as i did in begginging with boss reuben)... our society is complex as it gets. it isnt as easy as pointing things out, but that is where it starts from. we need more funeral homes aswell as many other things to provide those alternatives you and others talk about.
The cremation rate now is about 1 out of every 3 people choose cremation. i know as time goes on this statistic will go up due to our economy. but i wonder about the other alternatives? i wonder about many alternatives ways of doing things and living? is it possible to make a a major change, a tleast in my lifetime? i see it as a simple no, but "lets work on it". its important to do what you want, what you beileve in, kudos to me and our classmates who have a head start in making justified decisions.
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