Tuesdays with Morrie Part 3

Precis: November 4th on a Saturday morning Morrie left the world at "ease" some would say. What Morrie was, was a mentor and most importantly an expert to the world that anticipated his point of view on death and illness.

 ”He nodded and he walked away. The horror of the room, he would later say, sucked all other functions out of him. He did not cry until days later. Still, his fathers death helped prepare Morrie for his own". - pg.139

     In a discussion in class on the third part of Tuesdays with Morrie, Arden curiously asked me the question. “Do you think Morrie is an expert when it comes to illness and death"? I responded that if he wasn’t a mentor or if people didn’t believe what he was saying than theirs no point of those who traveled thousands of miles to sit next to him and hear him talk. Not saying that everything he says is correct or true but his words possessed value for those who eager to hear them. Him experiencing death of a loved one that was his father, introduced to the harsh reality of death. He became an expert I believe when he himself experienced it first hand. What he tells people not to do or to look out for was what he realized when he picked out his fathers body after experiencing a stroke. ".. His fathers death helped prepare Morrie for his own".
 
“Morrie rolled his eyes toward the ceiling.” I’m bargaining with him up there now. I’m asking him, 'Do I get to be one of there angels?' It was the first time Morrie admitted talking to god."- pg.163

     Morrie shows a comparison to the way people respond to death, illness and life altering situations. Morrie for the first time that Mitch noticed was having a conversation with god. People are frightened by death because they don’t know of there or what after life truly is. They know of heaven and hell. But they don’t know how to get their. People dedicate their whole lives praying to god, asking him for help, forgiveness and thanks. The bible and god is their own mentor. Just like Morrie, people hope to have had a great life in god eyes and be promised a seat in heaven.
    
"I believe he died this way on purpose. I believe he wanted no chilling moments, no one to witness his last breath and be haunted by it." pg.187

    When reading this quote it came across to me as ridiculous. this is because Morrie instilled in everyone’s mind that he was giving them everything, what he sees everyone will see, but he didn’t did so with his actual death. He was open to having cameras observe his last breathes but it seems he went back on his word. The word "haunted" stand out to me because Morrie tells others not detach themselves, be face the demons and everything what comes with death. I personally wouldn’t want someone to be there when I’m taking my last breathes but I would love for someone to show me compassion and bits of love before those last moments.

    Tuesdays with Morrie I can say is one of the top books I’ve read this year. It depicted society and did so through the lens of a teacher and a student. Morrie is an astonishing individual who I hope to come across someone who is as good as a teacher as him. He put his life on television, his death was a reality check, which was a reality check to millions who viewed and talked with him. How else can you reach a "sit on the couch" culture? I noticed even more that everyone needs a mentor in there life. I have one but want to remain with one. Nothing but positive and growth comes with this. Sometimes I saw Mitch as someone I could compare to, for example I hope not to exploit others or be exploited when I set out for a career I didn’t develop this hope though just by only reading this book. But if I do it wouldn’t be a surprise, I’m a product of my society.

Tuesdays with Morrie Part 2

Precis: As Morrie's draws closer to his death as the Tuesdays of every week go by he starts to teach and uncover society’s gravity pull that manipulates. The average person cares about aspects of life that are meaningless, those who aren’t afraid of aging and dying will live a fulfilling life.

“Yet when I looked at Morrie, I wondered if I were in his shoes, about to die, and I had no family, no children, would the emptiness be unbearable?"- pg.92

   Every Tuesday it’s a ritual for Mitch to come see Morrie and with every visit Mitch learns something new. Mitch always wonders how someone can constantly be positive when there so close to dying. Morrie notices Mitch's confusion that he possesses in his life and wants him to recognize this. Mitch feels empty inside, he’s come to realize that the life that’s he’s been living will probably lead to sad and lonely death. The emptiness would be unbearable unless he begins to change.

“Yes. Detaching myself... he opened his eyes. He exhaled. “You know what the Buddhists say? Don’t cling to things, because everything is impermanent." - pg.103

   Morrie explains to Mitch that detaching yourself doesn’t mean shying away from the penetration of the experience. By letting yourself dive fully deep into the emotions and everything that comes with the agony that is being felt is apart of the experience. Morrie explains that sometimes you need to detach yourself from the horror but also confront it. Many people feel that detaching themselves and running away from their problems is an easy way out. But its not. Whatever you do won’t shake up the reality that you’re dealt with because just like Morrie, he’s very sick, hell pour out his tears but he won’t let them keep pouring. He won’t even let the ALS beat him in any sort of way. Strictly mental and physical strength, something that every individual should possess.

“It’s very simple. As you grow, you learn more. If you stayed at twenty-two, you'd always be as ignorant as you were at twenty-two. Aging is not just decay, you know. Its growth."- pg.118

   Morrie explains that he embraces aging, and so should anyone else. When you age, you become smarter stronger and better. Morrie explains to Mitch that age comes with experience and change.  At twenty-two you’re an ignorant individual, why would you want to stay that age and remain ignorant, Morrie explains. He suggests that time is actually someone’s friend; you just got to treat it well.  It’s understandable that if someone has lived a fulfilling and meaning life, theirs no need to look back, only forward.

   Detaching yourself from reality can be a sickness. Morrie throughout the book is their as guidance for those who are uncertain and confused. From old students who he taught at Brandies to random people who wrote him letters coming to visit him. They look for Morrie to provide them with answers that aren’t easy to find but through Morrie it’s like no other. He’s dealing with a point in life where many aren’t able to elaborate on because their scared too. But Morrie gives them hope. Many people in our society don’t know how to think for themselves, learn from their own lives, and Morrie is their reality television show.

Tuesdays with Morrie Part 1

Tuesdays With Morie

By: Mitch Albom

Publisher: Random House

Year Published: September1997

Precis: Morrie exceeds the typical professor or teacher. His inspiring classes, teachings, words and theories live on from being a professor at Brandies and someone who is dealing with an illness.

“Instead, he would make death his final project, the center of his days... He could be research. A human textbook.  Study me in my slow and patient demise. Watch what happens to me. Learn with me." pg.10

    At a late age, Morries was diagnosed with ALS. Morrie doesn’t let his sickness deteriorate his mind along with his body. Morrie doesn’t want to feel bitter about his life ending and his illness like many seem to do. Instead he wants to embark on teaching others like he has done all of his life. And do this through his experience with death.

“What happen to me? I once promised myself I would never work for money , that I would join the Peace Corps, that I would live in beautiful, inspirational places." pg.34

    Mitch feels his life at this moment isn’t what he wanted as a college student. He’s a successful journalist who spends his whole life devoted to accomplishments, riches and his work. Over the years labor became his companion and letting everything else seem meaningless.  He envisioned his life as someone who wouldn’t be influenced by money and success, that his listening and understanding of his mentors (Morrie) teachings of a "happy life" would come in to play after college. He now realizes that this hadn’t happen.

"The culture we have does not make people feel good about themselves. And you have to be strong enough to say if the culture doesn't work, don’t buy it." pg.42

    I agree with Morries theories about life and our culture. It’s easy to see how American society is built around influencing others to do something, act and be a certain way. Many strive to reach the expectations of the culture of America and beat themselves up mentally if they don’t do so. Many must be strong enough to reject the American culture if it isn’t beneficial to you and your state of being.


Reading the first third of Tuesdays with Morrie, Morrie has shown to be an inspirational individual who has made an impact in many lives with what he says. He took his experience with ALS and presented it to those who knew him and were nothing but strangers and used it to teach. Especially Mitch. Like Morrie I think of death and illness as something that eventually occurs in ones life. When I experience illness and death I hope and think more positively than negative about my up and coming death like Morrie had done. I want to reflect on my life and be satisfied, knowing that I had a good run at it.

HW 21 - Expert #1

1. Eric was looked at as an artist instead of someone who was sick
2. If Eric wasn’t fighting he was stoic.
3. Beth's husband couldn’t afford health up until they applied for help
4. Beth having to deal with both her own experience and her children's experience with dealing with the death of their husband/father
5. Beth found comfort in her religion, which was Buddhism and played a major role. Gave her insight on what’s to come for his last days.

Many in our society look to religion to give them hope, answers to their questions, strength and awareness. Religion you can say is one of the teachers of our society and has been for centuries. Most feel that is where you look to when your dealt with hardships just like Beth had. Beth’s husband was diagnosed with advanced metastatic kidney cancer. Beth found comfort in Buddhism to give her guidance through her husbands last days of living due to cancer.  It’s safe to say that this helped her through a ruff time and if hadn’t been for her devotion to her religion she wouldn’t have been able to deal with the situations cruel reality. Some aren’t mentally stable when dilemmas like death pass them around. I’ve seen some runaway and drive their car as fast and far away as possible to avoid the fact that death has come along in their loved ones life. Beth didn’t run, she stood strong, stood by her husband with a solid state of mind with help from religion.

Eric was the one who was diagnosed with a sickness, you can tell from his physical appearance but you couldn’t tell from his actions. He knew his time has come and made his last days what he wanted them to be. If he wasn’t fighting through his illness, something that many do not do, he was stoic. He would continue with his love for art and continued to stay expressive. That’s amazing and wonderful to hear, I think highly of him even though I didn’t know him. His actions gave a heroic story. He wasn’t the one that seemed most affected by the death that was soon to come, those who were experiencing it first hand with there eyes were the ones. Many mope around that individual who is sick, feeling pity for them and showing it through various ways. "Do you need this or that"? “Oh my god I’m so sad". “What am I going to do"? These comments are very common; I’ve heard them and probably have said one of them myself. But if you analyze the situation that’s in front of you it seems stupid. Yes you are losing a loved one but that loved one is dying. What’s worse? Exactly.

What sparked my attention about Beth's experience with death is that she dealt with it in her own unique way. She did what was most comfortable for her and her husband. By listening to others experience you can see the distinction between the way someone deals with problems and they way you yourself would. Compare and contrast the two. With something as natural as death, it’s still something that hurts. You can hide and isolate yourself from the world but Eric showed that through courage one can end their life on a good note. Sometimes death isn’t a bad thing.  like the saying goes, "somethings happen for a reason". Eric I know left the world and left each person in his family with life lessons and love that they all will treasure.

HW 19 - Family Perspectives on Illness & Dying

I was in some way nervous to ask my mother what she thought about Illness and dying as a whole. With the notion that she probably wouldn’t really be responsive to the questions I had because at the time she was pretty busy and she was dealing with a cold and a migraine. Hoping not to get close to one word answers to my questions I received more than I predicted. The first question I asked to get into the topic of sickness was, how has she been feeling for the past couple of days since she’s been sick? She told me, “I feel so tired, I’ve just wanted to hurry up and get home from work and lay down. I hate the feeling of being sick it’s the worse. I’ve gone to the doctor for the past two days and he gave me medicine, and referred me to get seen once again to see how my health is all around". I than asked her what comes to mind when she hears that other people are sick or dealing with an illness? She answered, "what do I mean?” I told her doesn’t it get scary and pretty repetitive to hear someone is sick? Especially with our cousins and all? She said every family has a history of sickness in some type of way but ours isn’t serious. My mother pointed out that theirs some things that people must worry about when it comes to a family illness and shouldn’t be avoided.

In our society it seems like doctors and medicine are always the solution to dealing with illness. Not only that but also isolating themselves. Other dominant cultural perspectives are that sickness is something that in some sort of way can be avoided. My mother noted that this shouldn’t be the case; people should pay attention to their health, especially when it’s in some people’s case where sickness is a repeated problem. But she insisted that a doctor and medicine was a good enough solution for dilemmas with sickness.  Like many others do. Self reliance and self awareness is what people in our society don’t contain when it comes to staying healthy. They wait for someone to give them a direction like a doctor to try and get better. Sleeping and isolating them because they don’t feel like their normal selves. My mother couldn’t stand not being able to go about her day because she knew their was something eating up her ability to want to do things.

The nervousness that I experienced from gathering myself to interview my mother was coming from the topic of dying. I asked her a general question which was, what her views were about dying? She answered that everyone hopes to live a long great life.  As the conversation grew she talked on about how everyone expects to do so much before they die. It’s said to see many peoples life go when it’s by accident like a car crash. Because their life wasn’t fulfilled to the extent that they wanted. Some people live longer than others. She referred to my grandmother and other ancestors who have lived past their 90s of age. That they were able to do so much late in their age like what they’ve done early on like having kids or providing for the family. I definitely saw the difference between what I noticed as kid from what she noticed.

What pierced my thoughts the most about my mothers response to death and dying was that she knew it was no way in predicting it. People die and that’s just that. She didn’t word it like that but I came to the conclusion that she sort of meant that. When she talked about my ancestors I realized that their dominant health and illness practices didn’t consist of much. They were healthy and strong minded because they came from countries where everything was worked hard for, food is grown and their minds weren’t pointed in unnecessary directions like the average American. Many people die from other causes like depression. But my grand parents were the superiors in our family because they knew tactics on how to survive and it would show in them because it was instilled from how they were brought up. They weren’t scared of death neither and knew it would eventually come. They cared about the family’s ability to stay strong rather than the typical sibling now in days caring about inheritance or something like that. Thinking about that shows the difference in mindsets of people now and back than. People now are pathetic I’m noticing.

Health & Illness & Feasting

As the first day of November hit, I was anxious for Thanksgiving Day to come. This festivity is a gathering that I always enjoyed, because the bringing together of my family was something that barely happens and this year it was severely needed. The typical social practices were my family all come together, nicely dressed with formal attire.  Getting situated at a long dinner table and feasting our hearts out on prepared food. Talking and reminiscing and giving out thanks. Anti-body social practice was stuffing our face until we weren’t able to consume anymore food, not caring about the result that food will or eventually have.

At 5am I heard the smell of food being cooked for the harvest. My mother made sure that everything on her part or the food she wanted to make was prepared.  I guess As long as theirs a large amount of good food than the day will end up being what’s expected. The enjoyment and existence of food is always incorporated in every holiday but on thanksgiving, food is much more the focus on the event. Everyone in my family came to say hello and reminisce, but they found themselves completely drawn to all that food that was placed on the dinner table. Home cooked meals mostly from my mother who usually does most of the cooking but my sister and others provided there share. “how’s the turkey", my brother asked. Gobble gobble, the turkey is the dish that symbolizes this festivity. So you know food is important because the turkey is a “must make”. Eating repeatedly occurred throughout the whole night until everyone gathered in the living room, tired and bloated from the huge supplements of their food. We never really engage in other common practices as football watching on the big screen. But we use food and recollecting memories as way to spend the day.

This holiday the remembrance of our ancestors or those who passed wasn’t didn’t occur. It was unusual to me because it’s something that always happens. Especially when it comes to my grandmother because she’s always been the heart of our family. Always bringing us closer. Not having an empty chair and not remembering that same seat that my sister in-law was situated in was the same one my grandmother always sat at. This kind of makes me feel like an asshole now that I think about it. But she would be happy that this holiday brought nothing but smiles and no fights. The consuming of food had everyone embracing each other and seated for most of the night. The lack of movement and consumption of a bunch of food all for the purpose to fill and delight someone’s taste buds. Brings about the unhealthiness of a day like thanksgiving. My family never really takes notice on the damage that we are provoking on ourselves because we still eat unhealthy everyday. But for thanksgiving no one truly cares. But one day this may bring out illness that isn’t uncommon in our family, so it wouldn’t come as a surprise.

Initial Thoughts on Illness and Dying

            Illness and death is something I’ve seen a lot of in my life. It’s sad to say but I seem to always hear something about one of my family members or somebody I know being sick, getting sick or sadly dying. The one memory I always draw back to when I think of my grandfather is one specific time of me visiting him in the hospital, and I hate that. The harsh smelly stench, the white sheets, the little TVs, the Jell-O, and the exaggerated happiness of the nurses. I remember it so clearly because his illness of parcinsin cut our memories together short. growing up I constantly use to visit my grandmother at the hospital  because she suffered from a stroke and high blood pressure which is something that’s hereditary in our family.  She lived with us as well during the time of her illness because we felt we could provide much more for her than a retirement home or hospital could. And we did. My grandmother was a wise and strong woman, passing not too long ago, she was 90 years old and she lived a long and great life. She said it herself, that she’s lived her life and bluntly stated that she was ready for the end. She was ready but me and my family definitely wasn’t. I’ve seen illness and death with my own eyes numerous times and it never seems to get old but still hurts.

            I haven’t been taught any particularly way to look at illness and dying. I’ve picked up on along the way that it’s something that just happens. You can shy away from illness if you take care of yourself and live a healthy lifestyle. Unless it’s an illness like high blood pressure that’s passed down. Learning from my experiences I’ve learned that death is something that comes across in everyone’s life sooner or later. So you must live your life to the fullest extent until you reach that day. Thiers some sort of linear life that everyone is suppose to live or will live.  Born, child years, youth years, college, career, marriage, have a family, get old and die. We live our whole lives to the same ending that isn’t a happy one, and that is death.

           

In our society we seem to always separate those who are ill from those who aren’t. People look at the elderly and those who are sick as weak individuals and look down on them. We out them in places where they suffer instead of get better. Though hospitals and retirement homes specialize in helping the sick, a place where the sick are isolated.  My mother hated the fact of putting my grand mother in a home that wasn’t ours, having her suffer miserably in a quiet room where no on actually cares but “does their job”. My mother felt putting my grandmother in a home or hospital meant sooner or later it would be time to say goodbye. She experienced that tragedy with her father and didn’t want history to repeat itself, but eventually it did. When someone dies it’s expected to give them a proper burial and a ceremony to celebrate that persons life and after life. All black attire, tissues, tears and utter silence is the usual feel of a funeral. Different cultures celebrate death and deal with it differently. Some want a casket in the ground with a stone engraved with their name, some want to be cremated and theirs some who want their ashes to be thrown away at sea.   

  It’s funny to see people shy away and hide from the truth. We put a wall up instead seeing the true meaning behind ones actions or what is actually happening. That that specific sickness, injury or death will impair you life in some type of way. Maybe you can’t play that sport that you once loved so much. Should it be hovered over and always thought about? What if the dead is forgotten? Is that bad? What do you or tell someone that is laying their sick? Maybe you should ask them how their day but your scared that you will receive a bitter answer. Maybe you should enlighten them with what’s been going on since they’ve been gone.  Sometimes nothing needs to be said; sometimes the realization of the moment is enough.