"Prom is the day. the day ill remember for the rest of my life. I just cant wait to go dress shopping", stated my friends sister. she talked with such a excitment and content for a day where she was promised the time of a lifetime. after the intial question of, what comes to mind when you think of prom? i asked her why is prom so special? she went on to say that it was a celebration that tops off your 4 years of high school. than i went on to ask, than why is prom so unique? she told me with a distinct facial expression(are you serious?), and said the preperation is what makes it so significant. the dress shoppin which she was so enthused about and the scenes and talk shes heard of prom day and its festivities. she was ready to just have fun and that was what most mattered to her. but she did not think that prom was anything less than memorable.
I confronted my friend who graduated from stuyvesant two years ago. we sat down and he asked what for. " i need to interview you about prom, just a couple questions, no biggie right?". " weird, but no problem man" he stated. i asked him, how was your prom in high school? " it wasnt all that like people put it to seem, it was ok. i just got pretty messed up haha. and i got the girl ive always wanted. i laughed at his response because it was a stereotypical one. Sex and alcohol are all components of prom. he didnt have a great prom but he got what he wanted(sex and alcohol) which he was most proud of.he still remembers the day clearly even if it was washed down.
The last person i interviewed was my mother. before i even tried asking her questions, she told me with a demanding voice that i better have everything situated for prom becuase it was 2 days away. i sad who cares, to test her buttons and see what kind of response i would hear back. like a i predicted, she went on to say how stupid i would look if i didnt. alll thats heard, experienced and seen about Prom day has my own mother worried about my own and me looking stupid. she didnt want her son having a bad time or maybe even a laughing stock which was funny to me. this itnerview pretty much went from me wanting to interview my mother to her taking control and interviewing me. she didnt have a prom herself because she was pregnant with my oldest brother and felt the need to make sure i had a great one.
These interviews all gave stereotypical answers and views about prom. the things you hear about prom like sexy, drugs, dances, limos, and casual wear. is what many have been following and look to continue to do so. i really think its overwhelming for many teenagers, even their parents who are the bread winners and providers for a pricy night.
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Monday, May 23, 2011
HW 57 - Initial Thoughts on Prom
Prom is seen as a significant social event that is a stepping stone for a high school student. From younger, youth have viewed prom through the imaginative eye. thinking of the typical Cinderella type story's that are presented to us in countless movies. Horse and carriage relating to the pricey limousine that many buy on such event. the casual attire that high schools make sure they look different and better than others. the pressure or want in having to have a memorable prom night is really just provoked. what happens before the prom like awkward photos, mother crying as she sees her seed grown up she says. Than theirs prom where people make entrances, slow dance, drink punch and wait for something spectacular to happen.
Prom is coming close and i see the pressure people have to want to be prepared and "great" for the event. an event which last only a night, where teenagers kids feel their leash come off from their parents and everything before them. personally Ive always had solid communication with my mother when it comes to being with friends or having a social life. because i proved to her that im able to be independent with all that i do and knows im with the same friends since 6th grade. prom night will be the same. even though the typical prom festivities and attributes are present for my prom day, something i dont quite mind, its really just having a good time with good friends. thinking that the night will be like one in the movies is uneccessary because that is rare.
Than again, we all want things to happen to us as they do in fair tales. Especially as Americans glamor and riches are something we want in life. Rather than just success, many just want riches. Prom is a day where your able to flaunt your parents riches and present yourself in a matter like they do in rap videos( like andy stated). i agree with the statement because you dont see any individuals who are rich significantly successful(hard working) flaunting everything they have because that would be considered stubborn and unnecessary. but for rap artists its what there order to do. But prom day is a night where your able to flaunt your success, finishing high school on a high note and moving on to college.
Questions
Is it really a pivotal moment?
How has prom become a typical cinderalla story rather than just a regular celebration?
whats a school staff's responsibilities or plans for the event?
how was or is your prom going to be different?
Prom is coming close and i see the pressure people have to want to be prepared and "great" for the event. an event which last only a night, where teenagers kids feel their leash come off from their parents and everything before them. personally Ive always had solid communication with my mother when it comes to being with friends or having a social life. because i proved to her that im able to be independent with all that i do and knows im with the same friends since 6th grade. prom night will be the same. even though the typical prom festivities and attributes are present for my prom day, something i dont quite mind, its really just having a good time with good friends. thinking that the night will be like one in the movies is uneccessary because that is rare.
Than again, we all want things to happen to us as they do in fair tales. Especially as Americans glamor and riches are something we want in life. Rather than just success, many just want riches. Prom is a day where your able to flaunt your parents riches and present yourself in a matter like they do in rap videos( like andy stated). i agree with the statement because you dont see any individuals who are rich significantly successful(hard working) flaunting everything they have because that would be considered stubborn and unnecessary. but for rap artists its what there order to do. But prom day is a night where your able to flaunt your success, finishing high school on a high note and moving on to college.
Questions
Is it really a pivotal moment?
How has prom become a typical cinderalla story rather than just a regular celebration?
whats a school staff's responsibilities or plans for the event?
how was or is your prom going to be different?
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
xc - COTD2
Harold & Maude
In the film Harold and Maude, Harold finds himself being taught a different way to live his life when he meets Maude. Harold i might add a confused young man with countless questions on death and a life that has been controlled by his mother soon changed. Maude, an eighteen year old woman who aims above morality a more joyful and justified life, she slowly becomes his mentor. Harold's single mom raised her only child to be prone to following society and its dominant social practices. Being an emotionless dictator like mother who makes sure her son does what she wants and desires. because she is the "only one in his life". But Maude changes that and is the vocal point/ rebellion against funerals and manipulations.
Due to Harold Mothers possessiveness, he tries to commit suicide several times. His obsession with death links to him wanting to separate from his mom, die and get away from want he doesnt want. even though he is emotionally attached to his mom, to me death to me seems that is his only gateway of making his own decision. Purposely trying to kill himself by driving off a cliff of car but than being strange that he actually wasnt even in the car. presence of his relationship and joy in-cooperated in imaginative music and movement appearing out of the mist shows his change. his mentor, Maude than commits suicide. making death much more significant in the film as well as love.
Characters consist of a spoiled kid, like some say " a silver spoon fed" 20 year old man and his rich and snobbish mother are encounter by the most important character. Maura, a sympathetic life force both gives different, sort of comical and realistic ways dieing and caring. Like those who push for alternatives ways of practice and going against society dominant social practices, Maura and him planted a tree that signified growth and naturalness. Naturalness that many of us do not come to realize because its so detached from us. different circumstances like the one Harold was other detaches us. i enjoy this film very much. well made and directed film where the things that occur are left answered by the audience
In the film Harold and Maude, Harold finds himself being taught a different way to live his life when he meets Maude. Harold i might add a confused young man with countless questions on death and a life that has been controlled by his mother soon changed. Maude, an eighteen year old woman who aims above morality a more joyful and justified life, she slowly becomes his mentor. Harold's single mom raised her only child to be prone to following society and its dominant social practices. Being an emotionless dictator like mother who makes sure her son does what she wants and desires. because she is the "only one in his life". But Maude changes that and is the vocal point/ rebellion against funerals and manipulations.
Due to Harold Mothers possessiveness, he tries to commit suicide several times. His obsession with death links to him wanting to separate from his mom, die and get away from want he doesnt want. even though he is emotionally attached to his mom, to me death to me seems that is his only gateway of making his own decision. Purposely trying to kill himself by driving off a cliff of car but than being strange that he actually wasnt even in the car. presence of his relationship and joy in-cooperated in imaginative music and movement appearing out of the mist shows his change. his mentor, Maude than commits suicide. making death much more significant in the film as well as love.
Characters consist of a spoiled kid, like some say " a silver spoon fed" 20 year old man and his rich and snobbish mother are encounter by the most important character. Maura, a sympathetic life force both gives different, sort of comical and realistic ways dieing and caring. Like those who push for alternatives ways of practice and going against society dominant social practices, Maura and him planted a tree that signified growth and naturalness. Naturalness that many of us do not come to realize because its so detached from us. different circumstances like the one Harold was other detaches us. i enjoy this film very much. well made and directed film where the things that occur are left answered by the audience
HW 55 - Culminating Project - Care of the Dead
For my project i decided to interview two people who i previously felt a little hesitant to interview on there perspectives on death when we were assigned to interview those around us. My mother being one of them, this is because with touchy topics or subjects we don't always see eye to eye, at least some of the time. but mostly because till this day me and my family mourn over the death of my beloved Grandmother. Second interviewee was my boss, who i didnt want to interview because of the fact he was my bos/owner of my job. before i held these interviews i gave them a quick overview of the sort of things we are covering in our care of the dead unit and what was the purpose of these interviews.
Interviewee #1: Mother
How should someone be cared for after their dead?
Its hard for me to say. i remember worrying so much about how someone should be where there dead. now that we as a family have dealt with the death of wela(grandmother), i know now its better to think before you plan. what you want, who and where. people shouldnt worry and think that having a big fancy funeral is the best thing because it is not. I realize that now.
Did caring for my dead family members make you think differently?
yes it really did. Caring for my mother was one of the hardest things i have ever done. luckly with the hlep of your big brother, we made the best decisions that were possible. when my father died he was cremated but his funeral process was more quick. during that time were dealing with a lot, wrong timing i can say. because of low fund i wasnt able to provide him with that much to remember him. i regret somethings i did but the love have for him is more than what i could've provided. For my mother i wanted to do things differently and more precise but i also wanted to fix previous efforts with my father. me and you brother cremated Wela(grandmother) and had her placed next to her husband in place next to the big funeral of saintMerrys. where those who are cremated are inside in a sanctuary. at peace
I love you mom(i added)...
What happen with the funeral service?
the typical things. Making arrangements for the funeral and open casket. what should she wear, look like, be buried with and how everything will look. also the guest list(interruptted her)
Before you go on, why did it feel like the guest list was so big?
i invited friends and family. A lot of people from my workplace came and supported me and it felt very good. but what i was disappointed at was the fact that certain family's did not attend, which they should be ashamed about.
I added: i think many of the funeral arrangements or how it went about was stupid. not to be rude. i saw people who i barely see and people who my grandmother never even saw but maybe heard about. these people werent important to be at my grandmothers funeral. it was nice to see them supporting you, but that wasnt the time. i treasured the fact i got to speak to my grandmother even if she was embalmed(didnt go in dept even though i wanted to). i rather the close knitted family that we have to stay with her and send her off.
Funerals made us think that having these arrangements, extra lighting, bunch of chairs, cloths and all were perfect for my grandmother or someone who is dead. but it wasnt. they manipulate us mom, with money and death on our minds we arent really thinking right.
I only recorded the first half of our interview because we really had a strong and emotional conversation. when i told her what i thought about the funeral service a lot of things stuck out to her and she started to learn what i initially learned.she said the fact that money has always been a issue, the industry and peoples exploitation seems pretty obvious. i was able to give praise to what shes done to her parents when caring for them and told her she did a phenomenal job.
Interviewee #2: Boss
how do you want to be cared for when your dead?
i want to be buried. everyone in my family has a reserved spot next to each other in a funeral home. we usually have a wake and open casket and than the body gets buried. its pretty nice to know that your next to those you love when your dead. dieing isnt a big deal, your simply dieing. cremated your being burned, so i rather be buried.
Why is everything a tradition?
To many is the best waty is tradition. exspecially with something like death, religion is pretty important. everything associated with the funeral and how you care for the dead is circled around that familys religion preference. people do everything they think is neccessary toget into heaven and we as family members to make sure they get thier.
Manager intruded: if we were able to do something different than go to funeral home than we would do so. but its hard to appropriatley do something. Just as giving natural taste and food to people is healthy it isnt talked about as much as fast food(talked of alternatives as i did in begginging with boss reuben)... our society is complex as it gets. it isnt as easy as pointing things out, but that is where it starts from. we need more funeral homes aswell as many other things to provide those alternatives you and others talk about.
The cremation rate now is about 1 out of every 3 people choose cremation. i know as time goes on this statistic will go up due to our economy. but i wonder about the other alternatives? i wonder about many alternatives ways of doing things and living? is it possible to make a a major change, a tleast in my lifetime? i see it as a simple no, but "lets work on it". its important to do what you want, what you beileve in, kudos to me and our classmates who have a head start in making justified decisions.
Interviewee #1: Mother
How should someone be cared for after their dead?
Its hard for me to say. i remember worrying so much about how someone should be where there dead. now that we as a family have dealt with the death of wela(grandmother), i know now its better to think before you plan. what you want, who and where. people shouldnt worry and think that having a big fancy funeral is the best thing because it is not. I realize that now.
Did caring for my dead family members make you think differently?
yes it really did. Caring for my mother was one of the hardest things i have ever done. luckly with the hlep of your big brother, we made the best decisions that were possible. when my father died he was cremated but his funeral process was more quick. during that time were dealing with a lot, wrong timing i can say. because of low fund i wasnt able to provide him with that much to remember him. i regret somethings i did but the love have for him is more than what i could've provided. For my mother i wanted to do things differently and more precise but i also wanted to fix previous efforts with my father. me and you brother cremated Wela(grandmother) and had her placed next to her husband in place next to the big funeral of saintMerrys. where those who are cremated are inside in a sanctuary. at peace
I love you mom(i added)...
What happen with the funeral service?
the typical things. Making arrangements for the funeral and open casket. what should she wear, look like, be buried with and how everything will look. also the guest list(interruptted her)
Before you go on, why did it feel like the guest list was so big?
i invited friends and family. A lot of people from my workplace came and supported me and it felt very good. but what i was disappointed at was the fact that certain family's did not attend, which they should be ashamed about.
I added: i think many of the funeral arrangements or how it went about was stupid. not to be rude. i saw people who i barely see and people who my grandmother never even saw but maybe heard about. these people werent important to be at my grandmothers funeral. it was nice to see them supporting you, but that wasnt the time. i treasured the fact i got to speak to my grandmother even if she was embalmed(didnt go in dept even though i wanted to). i rather the close knitted family that we have to stay with her and send her off.
Funerals made us think that having these arrangements, extra lighting, bunch of chairs, cloths and all were perfect for my grandmother or someone who is dead. but it wasnt. they manipulate us mom, with money and death on our minds we arent really thinking right.
I only recorded the first half of our interview because we really had a strong and emotional conversation. when i told her what i thought about the funeral service a lot of things stuck out to her and she started to learn what i initially learned.she said the fact that money has always been a issue, the industry and peoples exploitation seems pretty obvious. i was able to give praise to what shes done to her parents when caring for them and told her she did a phenomenal job.
Interviewee #2: Boss
how do you want to be cared for when your dead?
i want to be buried. everyone in my family has a reserved spot next to each other in a funeral home. we usually have a wake and open casket and than the body gets buried. its pretty nice to know that your next to those you love when your dead. dieing isnt a big deal, your simply dieing. cremated your being burned, so i rather be buried.
Why is everything a tradition?
To many is the best waty is tradition. exspecially with something like death, religion is pretty important. everything associated with the funeral and how you care for the dead is circled around that familys religion preference. people do everything they think is neccessary toget into heaven and we as family members to make sure they get thier.
Manager intruded: if we were able to do something different than go to funeral home than we would do so. but its hard to appropriatley do something. Just as giving natural taste and food to people is healthy it isnt talked about as much as fast food(talked of alternatives as i did in begginging with boss reuben)... our society is complex as it gets. it isnt as easy as pointing things out, but that is where it starts from. we need more funeral homes aswell as many other things to provide those alternatives you and others talk about.
The cremation rate now is about 1 out of every 3 people choose cremation. i know as time goes on this statistic will go up due to our economy. but i wonder about the other alternatives? i wonder about many alternatives ways of doing things and living? is it possible to make a a major change, a tleast in my lifetime? i see it as a simple no, but "lets work on it". its important to do what you want, what you beileve in, kudos to me and our classmates who have a head start in making justified decisions.
Saturday, May 14, 2011
HW 54 - Independent Research B
The amount of practices and religious freaks i see on a daily basis is remarkable. Growing up i came to realize that many things or those who are worshiped were fake. Mom writing Santa's name on a present under the tree as i stood behind the wall steadily watching. saw a lie right before my eyes. after years of misconception. After knowing that the tooth fairy and now Santa wasn't real, it was hard to know what was true or real and that was at a very young age. As i grew up God became much more closer to Santa and the tooth fairy because there was no evidence that he his truly exist. I am Atheist, and deny the existence of god but understand his presence.
Atheism serves as way for people to wonder into their own independent beliefs rather than follow the typical ones around them. Dan Barker, Author of "Losing Faith in Faith" states, "I have something to say to the religionist who feels atheists never say anything positive: You are an intelligent human being. Your life is valuable for its own sake. You are not second-class in the universe, deriving meaning and purpose from some other mind. You are not inherently evil -- you are inherently human, possessing the positive rational potential to help make this a world of morality, peace and joy. Trust yourself." Dan Barker says that people usually do not follow their own instinct or have a value in their life. because they worship and cram themselves into believing something. from personal experience Ive seen many say the words, "why would god do this to me?. that brings many to question, as i did myself. Rationalizing things and being an Atheist isn't evil.
We might consider to be an adequate concept of God, whether or not we wish to argue for the existence of such a being. Remarks were made by J.N Findlay in his article (‘Can God's Existence be Disproved?’ (Findlay 1949). More and more adequate conceptions of God still portray God as limited in various respects."Now logic, he held, is tautologous and without ontological commitment. So God's necessary existence would have to be something different from logical necessity. The trouble is how to see what this could be." god necessary in many ways. people are in of a leader at many times, even if his physical existence was ever true, he serves as a spoke person tom many. Due to logic, he is limited in various aspects.
You choose whether you believe or don't believe. Atheism as well as others, gives pride to those who give invididual thought. When it comes to caring for the dead, me being an Atheist and all, i dont see the typical funeral practice as my own. Religions like Jewish, Christianity and others are bound top have a funeral service. I rather Flexibility with how i want to be treated seems right to me, since im also not even religous
Resources
http://www.religioustolerance.org/atheist.htm
http://plato.stanford.edu/entries/atheism-agnosticism/
Atheism serves as way for people to wonder into their own independent beliefs rather than follow the typical ones around them. Dan Barker, Author of "Losing Faith in Faith" states, "I have something to say to the religionist who feels atheists never say anything positive: You are an intelligent human being. Your life is valuable for its own sake. You are not second-class in the universe, deriving meaning and purpose from some other mind. You are not inherently evil -- you are inherently human, possessing the positive rational potential to help make this a world of morality, peace and joy. Trust yourself." Dan Barker says that people usually do not follow their own instinct or have a value in their life. because they worship and cram themselves into believing something. from personal experience Ive seen many say the words, "why would god do this to me?. that brings many to question, as i did myself. Rationalizing things and being an Atheist isn't evil.
We might consider to be an adequate concept of God, whether or not we wish to argue for the existence of such a being. Remarks were made by J.N Findlay in his article (‘Can God's Existence be Disproved?’ (Findlay 1949). More and more adequate conceptions of God still portray God as limited in various respects."Now logic, he held, is tautologous and without ontological commitment. So God's necessary existence would have to be something different from logical necessity. The trouble is how to see what this could be." god necessary in many ways. people are in of a leader at many times, even if his physical existence was ever true, he serves as a spoke person tom many. Due to logic, he is limited in various aspects.
You choose whether you believe or don't believe. Atheism as well as others, gives pride to those who give invididual thought. When it comes to caring for the dead, me being an Atheist and all, i dont see the typical funeral practice as my own. Religions like Jewish, Christianity and others are bound top have a funeral service. I rather Flexibility with how i want to be treated seems right to me, since im also not even religous
Resources
http://www.religioustolerance.org/atheist.htm
http://plato.stanford.edu/entries/atheism-agnosticism/
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
HW 53 - Independent Research A
This article summed of the fact that funerals homes are " big business conglomerates". Who rely on making profit and money and are not family owned like they would have you believe. The manipulation that occurs and the scare tactics that are used to. Convince you to buy something. And inflate the already high priced cost. There prices do not increase in any circumstances unlike regular funeral homes. Average cost of a popular casket a funeral home is 3000. But at this alternative and a more economically beneficial place of "caring for the dead". There price is at $825.00 which includes free delivery locally.
Gordon Lyken worked as an engineer and later felt the urge to carry on his grandfathers business later on in life, and part take in the funeral industry. There were no funeral parlours in the early 1900's and the funeral businesses were all called livery stables because the service offered were horse drawn vehicles, carriages and Landaus, and the coachmen were even dressed in top hats or beavers and frock coats and gloves. Gordon Lyken now today reads about those things and maintains a business that hinged on what was.
I decided to interview a Funeral Director of Metropolitan Funeral Services downtown on Avenue A. I was pretty enthused to see how a touchy subject and controversy of "caring for the dead" will carry on with someone are in that particular career. Also by me just stopping by an asking questions. as i walked into the Funeral Home, i saw the funeral director. i approached his small desk where he was standing and i asked him if he had 2 minutes of his spare time. i was rushed and so was he. but surprisingly the interview was great. he answered my questions very nonchalant yet, simple worded and strong. 2 things that stood out for me in my quick notes were.
- Many people dont come in an ask questions like a "learner" he said, not even the loved ones of arranging a funeral.
- Alternatives aren't pointed out very often or isnt initiated but should be. Cause is the urban lifestyle and economy.
Many people do not ask questions. many do not seek to learn something else. as i begin to grow as a learner and a person is that we choose to follow rather than lead. Funeral Services as well as other things are commercialized. i look at it as a way to promote both sides. but there isn't enough of it. me coming in the interview and seeing how the funeral director himself wanted to talk more to me, yet didn't have the time because he was busy with work. Shows the clash between someones profession and personal views.
Saturday, May 7, 2011
HW 52 - Third Third of the COTD Book
Precis:
In the last third of Grave Matters, Mark Harris introduce the readers to more natural ways of caring for the dead. "Natural" in the sense that, its low cost, better for environment and the dead becoming one with the earth. He elaborates on Plain Pine boxes which have the ability for the deceased to deteriorate into the soil and atmosphere. backyard burials and lastly Natural Cemetary's which give off a much more philosophical and spiritual feeling compared to our society's normal rituals.
Quotes:
" With its straightforward arrangement, family focus, low cost, and basic, handmade casket at the center, that prairie burial of old "seemed to me just a natural way to do it," says Ed".
(pg.126)
"Recounting that emotional and physical marathon years later, Loren describes it as a labor of love that proved both satisfying and ultimately therapeutic". (pg.132)
"You'll come across no upright headstone or monument to the dead, no burial plot marked off with stone edging or linked chain. Nowhere will you find vases of perfect plastic flowers, live plants blooming in cellophane-wrapped pottery". (pg.159)
Analysis:
In many ways it seems like the natural ways of caring for the dead, is actual "caring". Our dominant social practices possess no thought or effort for the dead. we throw money around as if its the only thing that can be done. As i seen through out this last third of the book, there can be many things done for the dead, like a home made casket and burial, rather than a typical money oriented funeral.
In the last third of Grave Matters, Mark Harris introduce the readers to more natural ways of caring for the dead. "Natural" in the sense that, its low cost, better for environment and the dead becoming one with the earth. He elaborates on Plain Pine boxes which have the ability for the deceased to deteriorate into the soil and atmosphere. backyard burials and lastly Natural Cemetary's which give off a much more philosophical and spiritual feeling compared to our society's normal rituals.
Quotes:
" With its straightforward arrangement, family focus, low cost, and basic, handmade casket at the center, that prairie burial of old "seemed to me just a natural way to do it," says Ed".
(pg.126)
"Recounting that emotional and physical marathon years later, Loren describes it as a labor of love that proved both satisfying and ultimately therapeutic". (pg.132)
"You'll come across no upright headstone or monument to the dead, no burial plot marked off with stone edging or linked chain. Nowhere will you find vases of perfect plastic flowers, live plants blooming in cellophane-wrapped pottery". (pg.159)
Analysis:
In many ways it seems like the natural ways of caring for the dead, is actual "caring". Our dominant social practices possess no thought or effort for the dead. we throw money around as if its the only thing that can be done. As i seen through out this last third of the book, there can be many things done for the dead, like a home made casket and burial, rather than a typical money oriented funeral.
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